Rejection means “dismiss as inappropriate, unacceptable, or faulty.” sound very harsh?
But, while rejection is just a word, there’s no denying how much it hurts. Some people even report physical pain when they are rejected, with medical studies demonstrating that the same areas of the brain that light up when we are physically hurt also light up when we are rejected.
Other research has found that feelings of rejection can lower our IQ because they cloud the mind and impair our ability to recall information or make quick decisions.
With rejection so common in today’s “swipe right” culture, it’s more important than ever to cultivate the inner strength to overcome it.
The worst feeling is being rejected. Rejection can be devastating, whether it’s being turned down for a first date or being dumped in a relationship. Is it truly all about them? Or did I make a mistake? Why hadn’t I been good enough? Any form of rejection stings and causes people to question themselves and their relationships.
REJECTION SUCKS
Rejection in any form is quite an unbearable feeling. Either after being involved in a long serious relationship or being turned down on a first date. There is a reason we call it HEARTBREAK because it hurts. Pain often works as a signal for our brain to avoid whatever hurts us in the first place. But in terms of a relationship, the only way it works is to try and try again. The big question is why is it hurt so much? How do we get over rejection? When it comes to rejection, people very easily dive into self doubt. We think we are not strong enough and impulsively feel like changing ourselves so we don’t get rejected again. But the problem though is that we are biologically programmed to feel that emotional thing after being turned down.
“It can be like a punch in a stomach or slap in the face”
Have you ever felt hurt after the smallest brush offs? Remember that you are not the only one. The pain of rejection is not something that you can easily outgrow but that’s not to say that it is easier to cope with. Time goes on and we get mature and realize that we ourselves are not solely defined by the people around us. This happens during a process called self differentiation. It is the degree to which one is able to find a balance between emotional and intellectual functioning and intimacy and autonomy in a relationship. It helps distinguish between thoughts and feelings and to choose between one guided by one’s intellect and one’s emotions.
HOW TO COPE WITH REJECTION
VALIDATION AFTER REJECTION
It hurts regardless of the source of the rejection. Others may dismiss what happened as insignificant and encourage you to move on. But the pain may linger, especially if you are particularly sensitive to rejection. Other unpleasant emotions associated with rejection include embarrassment and awkwardness.
Except for you, no one can tell you how you’re feeling. It is necessary to acknowledge your feelings of rejection before you can begin to address them. Telling yourself that you don’t care about getting hurt when you really do prevents you from confronting and managing this fear productively.
QUEST FOR OPPORTUNITIES
Although it may not appear so at first, rejection can provide opportunities for self-discovery and growth. Assume you apply for a job you really want and have an excellent interview, but you don’t get it. This may initially devastate you. However, after reconsidering your resume, you decide that it wouldn’t hurt to brush up on some skills and learn how to use a new type of software.
After a few months, you realize that your newfound knowledge has opened doors to higher-paying positions for which you were previously unqualified.
Reframing your fear as an opportunity for growth can make it easier to pursue your goals and less painful if you fail. Try telling yourself if this might not work out, but even if it does, I’ll have a meaningful experience and know more than I did before.
When it comes to romantic rejection, reflecting on what you truly want in a partner can help you overcome rejection fears. It can also put you on the path to finding someone who is a good fit right away.
SELF WORTH
When you put too much stock in rejection, it can be terrifying. If you’ve been on a few dates with someone who suddenly stops texting back, you might be concerned that you’ve bored them or that they don’t find you attractive enough.
However, rejection is frequently the result of needs not being met.
Ghosting is never a good strategy, but some people simply don’t have good communication skills or believe that saying, “You’re nice and cute, but I didn’t quite feel it,” will hurt you when, in fact, you’d appreciate the honesty.
Increasing your self-confidence and self-worth can help you remember that you are completely worthy of love, making you less afraid to continue your search for it.
FACE YOUR FEARS
It is certainly a fact that you can’t face rejection if you don’t fall into that situation. But you’re also unlikely to achieve your objectives. Going after what you want increases your chances of success. You might encounter rejection, but you might not.
Someone who is afraid of romantic rejection may begin by creating a dating profile with no intention of using it right away. They may then begin chatting without the intention of meeting in person. If you do this, just make it clear that you aren’t looking to meet anyone right now.
ENDING NOTES
Rejection can be painful and cause you to doubt yourself. Fear, on the other hand, may limit you, preventing you from experiencing much of what life has to offer. Seeing rejection as an opportunity for growth rather than something you can’t change can help you feel less fearful of the possibility.
This pain is no exception to the rule that pain fades with time. It may not matter much in a year or even a few months. If you’re having trouble getting over this fear, a therapist can help.
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