Many people feel that their ex comes back and things are going to be “normal.” They have a good intuition.
Their bittersweet, persuasive, hope-instilling gut feeling urges them to trust their gut instincts and anticipate their dumper to show up.
If you have a strong suspicion that an ex may return, you should know that there are two plausible reasons for your optimism.
They are as follows:
- Your reaction to the breakup and how nervous you are about it.
- Your expectations about how and when your reconciliation will take place.
This means that the gut sensation you have in your stomach is the result of the thoughts you feed it.
So, before you start believing that an ex will return, keep in mind that your nervous brain is attempting to assist you.
It’s working tirelessly to find ways to alleviate your separation anxiety.
Your brain is essentially dealing with the stress of the breakup, so it’s trying over time to communicate with your conscious mind about various ways to alleviate your emotional anguish.
The only issue is that it’s attempting to deceive you by telling you precisely what you want to hear.
It instills false optimism in you and raises your expectations.
Expectations vs Reality
False hope and unrealistic expectations are two things that make post-breakup healing tough.
Unfortunately, strong convictions that an ex will return hinder dumpees from moving on and confuse them.
They cause people to lose sight of what is important (their health) and leave them hungry for their ex’s approval.
Breakups have such a negative impact on nervous minds because they frequently damage the dumpees’ self-esteem and drive them to develop trust difficulties.
So, if you have thoughts or sentiments about your ex returning to you, remember that you are only attempting to heal from your terrible experience.
You’re in agony as a result of the suffering your ex has given you, therefore your brain is attempting to assist you in getting back on your feet.
How do you accept reality and let go of high expectations?
Positive thoughts, personal growth, overcoming your ex, and alone time will enable you to lose hope and unreal aspirations.
Prioritizing yourself and your happiness will therefore prepare you for a new life of independence, similar to the one you had before meeting your ex.
So don’t assume you’ll never be able to let go of your ex since it’s just not true.
It’ll only be a matter of time before you forget about your ex and totally separate from him or her.
Let go of the past
Dumpees who refuse to let go of their ex will never understand that breakups occur for a reason: to teach individuals vital lessons.
One of the most essential is teaching individuals how to live a strong, independent, and interesting life—and assists them in developing into the persons they desire to be.
Many people would not mature much if breakups did not teach them valuable lessons. The fact is that they wouldn’t have to since there would be no incentive for them too.
They would be lacking in motivation. The same is true for you. Unless you’ve learned a thing or two from your connection with your ex, you’re likely to keep holding on to him or her. You’ll keep looking for internal satisfaction in your ex, and as a result, you could make some of the classic post-breakup errors. Such errors, regrettably, will continue to harm you by elevating your ex’s worth in your eyes and raising the expectations of your ex.
So, what should you do if you get a gut feeling about an ex, a lover, or anyone?
Because a gut feeling is just that, the best advice I can give you is to always and forever think rationally before acting.
Always ask yourself if what you’re considering or doing is logically the best thing for you to do. You’ll discover that by asking yourself crucial questions, you can evaluate if your objectives are rational or emotional. If they are reasonable, you will do what you believe is right and carry out a well-thought-out plan. On the other hand, if your objectives are emotional, you will be put to the test. You’ll be challenged right away on your maturity, emotional strength, self-control, willpower, and tenacity.
The difficulty of resisting temptation will be determined by how important you place on your work.
For example, if your goal is as onerous as instituting an indefinite no-contact rule, you would most certainly struggle to overcome your gut instinct about your ex.
You’ll probably want to take a different route and make things easy on yourself by breaking no contact.
However, this does not exempt you from acting on instinct because things are unlikely to go as planned.